Working with tight deadlines in office, scrunching numbers all day and after finishing the last convoluted slide of a complex presentation as I leave office, I find myself giggling with my 18 months old after few minutes. As I pick him up from day care every day, I feel a contrast shift in my mood and stress levels.
I am mad at my husband (probably for no reason) and my husband is mad at me (for me being mad at him for no reason). We both are quiet. And then comes our cutie walking with his little feet, wearing ‘I ❤ mum, I ❤ dad’ moccasins, dragooning us to clap for him because he put lid on a box. Just one of us clapping won’t suffice for him to feel ‘proud’ enough about himself. This family clapping huddle just makes us smile at each other.
I feel aggrieved by someone’s mean and unpalatable gesture. Or it’s just melancholy and I’m about to slip in the pool of negative thoughts. My little savior comes in and reminds me that the world is beautiful, you just need to look at the right things. Look at my smile, dance with me and I realize I can’t be more content than this.
They say kids are indebted to their parents for giving birth and raising them. But I feel my tiny munchkin has already repaid that debt with his chuckles, giggles and hugs. The puerile acts that entertain us, make us burst into tearful laughter and give us a reason to look forward to the family time in the evening are precious.
Just like any mother, I also think of the time when my little birdie will fly away from our nest to make his own. But for now, I just want to enjoy every bit of his adored presence in our lives.
He arrived wrapped in the warmth of our arms, changing our lives forever. Every time I would put him down, he would cry. I held him close in a ‘sling’ almost all day during our initial time together. I actually felt like a kangaroo mom.
Watching him still trying to catch the umbilical cord with his tiny hands for first few weeks, is a feeling beyond description. Giving him his first bath with shaking hands as we placed his bathing tub on our dining table and taking him out of it with caution, as he looked like a red little mouse.
Cuttings his bitsy nails for the first time, being extremely careful around his delicate red fingers, I felt like winning a battle on being able to do it safely for the first time. When we fed him solids for the first time, making him understand the concept of ‘eating’ was another experience. As he learnt to open his mouth and started chewing with his gums, trying new tastes on him and seeing his reactions became a daily routine.
His dad would think of a new fruit every day, to feed him while I was experimenting with various purees of vegetables, fruits and milk.
We would surround him with tons of cushions as he learnt to sit and enjoy his funny falls. And then as he took his first steps, there was literally a competition between his father and mother, who records him walking first. I don’t need to declare the obvious winner here😉
Our extended snuggling sessions on weekends boost our happiness level to infinity. And as he says ‘hi’ to strangers on a trip to supermarket, we realize how immune we have become to any kind of judgement. The smiles he earns in return are just a bonus.
A baby is a joint project that tests the understanding between parents every day. While we both love him endlessly, there have been discussions in the morning about who will stay home to care of him today, as we find him sick. Being a working mother, I have felt selfish on numerous occasions choosing work over him on some of these days.
As he stands near the glass window waving bye to me with his father, his face keeps popping up in my mind while I’m at work. And the moment I leave office to find him home, I rush with my heart pounding in excitement.
Our love blinded eyes see him as a perfect blend of traits from his mom and dad. Not just on the day you become parents, you thank God zillion times through out your life for this ambrosial gift.
He has a vocabulary of 23 meaningful words now, we counted last night. And then there are tons of his meaningless words that add so much meaning to our lives.
It is definitely not all rosy being a parent. You sacrifice your freedom, time, career, hobbies, outings, travel and most importantly your sleep for a long time. But it is all worth it!
As we grow as parents each day, we make mistakes, feel guilty, doubt ourselves and then our little creation reassures us in his own ways how much he loves us. And everything just feels right again.